Silly Rabbit! Trix are for kids!

So... Nobody who enjoys peace, quiet, or sanity should ever give me sugar. And, for the love of all that's good and holy, keep Herr Doktor away from caffeine. These are three of the conversations we've had tonight-

"I don't want to get older."
"We don't have to. We can go to Neverland!"
"... Those guys are total pansies, though..."
"We can be the badass ones! We'll carry samurai swords and brutally execute all the pirates in public! We'll be worshiped as heroes!"
"And we can kick Peter Pan right in the balls."
"Yeah! We'll get his pixie little fag hag, too!"
"Hey, Tinkerbell! I DON'T BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!"
*cough**hack*
*CLAP CLAP CLAP*
"Tinkerbell... I don't believe in fairies!"
*cough**hack*
*CLAP CLAP CLAP*
"Stop! *cough* I'll tell you anything you want, just please stop hurting me!"
"We don't really want anything... We just wanna see you bleed..."

"I can't open this bottle... Big Strong Man! Report!"
"Big Strong Man, ready for duty!"
"Open this thing."
"Ummm... Let's see... There's that plastic thingie there... I think this is actually a job for Sharp Thing Man!"
"Isn't Sharp Thing Man your dark and edgy alter-ego? I mean, Big Stong Man and Sharp Thing Man are never in the same place at the same time. That, and you look a lot alike- guh!" *STABBITY STAB STAB*

"Jiiiggly puff... Jigglyyy-yyy puff... Gooo to sleeep and I will eeeat your feeet..."
"What the fuck?! Jiggly Puff isn't a predator!"
"Not necessarily. Notice the large eyes set in the front of the head. I bet, if its owners don't lock the Pokeball tight, Jiggly Puff will crawl out, sing them deep into sleep, and then gouge a BIG FUCKING HOLE in their thigh and let them bleed to death..."

So, yeah, no sugar for us.